Why Do Autistic Individuals Say Inappropriate Things?

Many autistic children like praise and want to behave well to get more praise.

Talking is a fundamental human behavior where physical and mental processes work together. Many autistic persons, especially children and younger adults say things that are deemed improper, if not outright offensive as they are unaware of how their behaviors affect most people (Schmitt et al, 2018). A lot has been said and written about the "hidden curriculum" infringement in this case, and how it affects the autism community. In essence, an autistic person frequently struggles to "pick up" unspoken rules that are expected of everyone but are not officially expressed. As a result, they are unaware that their behaviors are inappropriate because they were never instructed to do so (Ip et al, 2018).

Because individuals with autism sometimes find it difficult to understand the relation between inappropriate responses and feelings of others, those on the autism spectrum might easily misread social situations. Autism and other social cognitive learning deficits are abstract and challenging to understand. In order to build emotionally and socially appropriate responses, it is not only required but also crucial to educate them on normal, everyday encounters.

Once the foundation of the rules, such as understanding the opposite person's feelings and what are appropriate responses in that context, are understood, these knowledge can be used more effectively in real time conversations. (Boonen et al, 2014).

In many cases, inappropriate responses might result in affecting others feelings and behaviors towards asd individual. With time and experience, individuals may come to realize that their actions are not viewed favorably by others, but they will still be unable to comprehend why. Sometimes they fail to see anything offensive and fail to comprehend why anyone would care, much less be concerned or offended by it. As a result, they could choose to ignore the problem, frequently at their own peril. 

Another way children with neurotypical development learn is by imitating peers and adults. They are acutely conscious of and receptive to others' expectations. As a result, kids become aware of what is a typical response or reply. This is something that parents will need to address, in terms of what they are watching and listening to (Meadan et al, 2009).

An autistic person may finally realize how others react, sometimes strongly, to responses they have learnt to be improper. Despite this, they may continue the behaviour because of the responses they get. Such behavior in kids is frequently viewed as "attention seeking" (Taylor & Carr, 1992)  

However, in adults with autism, it could also be a cry for help because autistic people frequently struggle to describe the nature of their struggles and difficulties, or even their feelings at times (a condition known as alexithymia). They consequently experience intense irritation and fury, which they then vent through these actions. Ironically, and even tragically, they have no interest in hurting or injuring anyone. They are unaware of how their inappropriate response affects other people or the extent to which others may be bothered or offended and are just interested in eliciting a response (and potentially getting others to recognise their own suffering) (Schmitt et al, 2018). 

The idea that autistic persons are emotionless is a myth. In actuality, most autistic individuals have intense emotions. Autism frequently makes it difficult to control emotions like anger, fear, or worry (Ip et al, 2018). The result can be emotional outbursts referred to as "meltdowns." As most of them have trouble identifying their own emotions, expecting ASD individuals to think about the person in front of them and respond appropriately might be unfair for them. 

How can I help my ASD child from saying inappropriate things you may wonder. One of the best ways is to utilise praise and rewards for appropriate responses. When your child gets praise and attention for saying appropriate things, your child is more likely to want to keep doing it. Many autistic children like praise and want to behave well to get more praise (Kassim,  Zoki & Mohamed, 2020).

Clear rules about appropriate and inappropriate responses. Rules are positive statements that let children know how they’re expected to say and what your family limits are. You could use visual support stating the things that are appropriate to say for consistent reinforcement (Warren et al, 2021). This would make it clear to the child what you are looking for in their speech and help them to use more of it. Everyday and social skills for unfamiliar and difficult situations: Role plays, video modeling and social stories can help autistic children develop appropriate conversational skills. These things have to be done consistently to develop a habit before transferring it to real life situations (McCoy et al, 2016).

Contriving more controllable settings such as arranging for a playdate at home with a family friend can be helpful in letting the child practice with other peers his age with some adult guidance at hand. Other small group activities can also be beneficial for the child in creating opportunities for social interactions.

References 

Kiddy123. (n.d.). Why can’t my child talk? [Image]. Kiddy123. https://www.kiddy123.com/article/why-cant-my-child-talk.html

Ip, H. H., Wong, S. W., Chan, D. F., Byrne, J., Li, C., Yuan, V. S., ... & Wong, J. Y. (2018). Enhance emotional and social adaptation skills for children with autism spectrum disorder: A virtual reality enabled approach. Computers & Education, 117, 1-15.

Schmitt, L. M., White, S. P., Cook, E. H., Sweeney, J. A., & Mosconi, M. W. (2018). Cognitive mechanisms of inhibitory control deficits in autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 59(5), 586-595.

Taylor, J. C., & Carr, E. G. (1992). Severe problem behaviors related to social interaction: 1: Attention seeking and social avoidance. Behavior Modification, 16(3), 305-335.

Boonen, H., Maljaars, J., Lambrechts, G., Zink, I., Van Leeuwen, K., & Noens, I. (2014). Behavior problems among school-aged children with autism spectrum disorder: Associations with children's communication difficulties and parenting behaviors. Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders, 8(6), 716-725.

Meadan, H., Ostrosky, M. M., Zaghlawan, H. Y., & Yu, S. (2009). Promoting the social and communicative behavior of young children with autism spectrum disorders: A review of parent-implemented intervention studies. Topics in Early Childhood Special Education, 29(2), 90-104.

Kassim, H., Zoki, S. D. M., & Mohamed, N. H. (2020). Empowering children with autism to success: within appropriate ecosystem. Southeast Asia Psychol. J, 10, 150-164.

Warren, N., Eatchel, B., Kirby, A. V., Diener, M., Wright, C., & D’Astous, V. (2021). Parent-identified strengths of autistic youth. Autism, 25(1), 79-89.

McCoy, A., Holloway, J., Healy, O., Rispoli, M., & Neely, L. (2016). A systematic review and evaluation of video modeling, role-play and computer-based instruction as social skills interventions for children and adolescents with high-functioning autism. Review Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 3, 48-67.