What is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem refers to the overall evaluation of one’s sense of worth and value as a person (Bailey, 2003). It is based on one’s personal beliefs about their skills, abilities and social relationships (Abdel-Khalek, 2016). The key pillars of self-esteem include self-confidence, feelings of security, self-identity, sense of belonging and feelings of competence (Cherry, 2022). The evaluation of oneself is closely linked to one’s perception of self, accompanying emotions and feelings as well as psychological health.
Why is Self-Esteem important?
Research has shown that self-esteem plays a huge role in one’s emotional well-being. It can influence a child’s motivation, relationships and mental health (Orth & Robins, 2022). Children with higher self-esteem experience more happiness, optimism and confidence (Baumeister et al., 2004). Low self-esteem can make children doubt their own abilities and the choices they make. It is also a risk factor for developing depressive, anxious or uncooperative symptoms (Mann et al., 2004). They may also experience low levels of confidence and feel unloved. Ensuring that our children feel loved is especially crucial during the early developmental stage of a child, as it allows them to form a secure attachment with their parents, leading to better expression of their needs. By helping our children develop high self-esteem from young, we can also help them to build resilience, preparing them to not give up in future adversities as they grow up. In the long run, higher self-esteem is extremely crucial for self-regulation and social adjustment (Di-Paula and Campbell, 2002).
Why are Children with Autism more susceptible to low self-esteem?
As children with Autism have deficits in social communication, they struggle with making friends. Alongside the stigmas associated with Autism, these children may face higher levels of social rejection (Wakeling, 2020). Children with Autism might also have increased sensory needs, making them more sensitive to certain stimuli such as noise or lights. These needs could hinder their participation in certain activities in school, making them feel excluded. Furthermore, children learn to evaluate themselves through comparison to others (Mann et al., 2004). When these children feel that their ability is developing at a different rate than their peers, it leads to frustration and they evaluate their performance as lacking. This might cause them to doubt their own competence and feel a lesser sense of self-worth. They also take feedback from their surroundings, and are conscious of responses from parents or teachers (Harter & Leahy, 2001). Through other’s perceptions of them, children start to feel bad about themselves, and have a learned notion that they are inferior to peers. Their confidence level drops and this could interfere with the development of a positive social identity. Everything combined, it poses a harder challenge for them to maintain high self-esteem.
Ways to improve the Self-Esteem of Children with Autism
As we know, autism as a disorder falls on a spectrum, with individual symptoms varying greatly from one another. Looking at your child as an individual, with unique traits and identity, instead of confining them to just the label of ‘Autistic’ is crucial. While this list is not exhaustive, here are some ways parents can help their child grow!
Focus on their strengths
Children with Autism usually have special interests and talents. Rather than focusing on the difference between your child and neurotypical children, parents should understand their child’s strengths. By providing constant reminders, children with Autism will learn that they have their own positive attributes too. Parents can also pivot on their child’s interest and have them participate in activities they enjoy doing. As a child becomes more skilled and knowledgeable in their interest, it boosts their confidence, in turn increasing their self-esteem.
Create many opportunities for success
Instead of wanting to reach long-term goals quickly, parents can help set short-term goals for their child instead. Short-term goals tend to be more feasible and provide more opportunities for success. Every time a short- term goal is attained, the child feels competent and a sense of accomplishment. This motivates them to continue working on their following mini goals, pushing them to work towards their ultimate goal.
Provide opportunities for social interaction
Initiating conversations can be stressful for children with Autism, leading to them being closed off. Parents can pay attention to settings or places their child feels comfortable in. These places can be used as a safe environment to get their child to interact with other people. Parents can role-play with the child and expose them to different types of personas. Parents can also model ways to interact, for example, learning how to share or take turns during play time. Being able to communicate with their peers and make friends will instil a sense of belonging in them.
Positive Reinforcement
A very effective way for your child to feel good about themselves is praise. A lot of praise! No matter how small the attempt, or minor the improvement, you can praise them whenever you notice it. This helps your child feel validated and that their efforts have not gone unnoticed. For example, when a child follows instructions well or asks for permission to borrow something. This also gives the child feedback on socially desirable behaviours and encourages the continuity of these behaviours.
Allowing for autonomy
By providing a chance for a child to choose, they can take greater charge of their lives. For example, choosing what they want to wear or what they want to eat. This allows them to demonstrate their ability to perform daily activities and functional skills. Knowing that they are able to complete a task by themselves fosters independence skills. This grows the child’s self-confidence.
Remember! Although the tips provided here can be a great headstart to developing self-esteem, there is no one size fits all approach. Try and mix around different approaches, as what works best for one child might not be the best for another! Most importantly, never stop loving your child unconditionally!
Written by: Micole
References:
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Orth, U., & Robins, R. W. (2022). Is high self-esteem beneficial? revisiting a classic question. American Psychologist, 77(1), 5–17. https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000922
Wakeling, R. (2020, November 19). How to develop self confidence in children on the autism spectrum. The Spectrum. https://thespectrum.org.au/how-to-develop-self-confidence-in-children-on-the-autism-spectrum/#:~:text=Not%20being%20able%20to%20understand,children%20and%20teens%20without%20autism.
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